How to Quit Something

What are the reasons why you don’t quit something? Here are mine:

Disappointing someone
Looking like a failure
Looking stupid
Embarrassed that I couldn’t keep up
Feeling like I’ve gotten so far so I can’t give up now
Potentially upsetting someone
aka “get in trouble”
I’m used to the discomfort/bad feelings from continuing
The hurdle to changing is harder than dealing with staying
My mind has super good reasons why I shouldn’t quit even though I feel like shit from it every single day

All very valid reasons to not quit. By the way, I’m talking about any quitting! Quitting your job, quitting a certain habit, quitting a relationship.

I have recently made a bold decision to quit something that seemed at first glance like I shouldn’t quit (I fired a client that was paying me a lot). I went through dozens of pros and cons of staying versus leaving. A huge pro was money. A huge con was my sanity and happiness. I even tried to “leadership coach” myself into being happy with the job.

The first step to quitting is listening. Sit with yourself. Sit with your long-term values. Sit with who you want to be in this world. Sit with what is causing you so much stress about this thing that you’re considering quitting.

Because I get it: sometimes we do need to stick with someone when quitting would be the easier way out. That’s why the first step is truly sitting, breathing, being with yourself to listen to your deepest, inner knowing about what’s right for you right now. Have you made a situation worse in your own head because of your own reactions? Or have you just put yourself in a situation that doesn’t align with your values in life?

The next step is to… well, honestly for me, it’s just fucking do it. Trust-fall-style. My stomach clenched as I typed the email and hit send. Hitting send felt like I was jumping off a cliff (and I am not a thrill seeker like that lol). My fear of all those things I listed above gripped me, bargaining with thoughts like “there must be another way!” or “maybe you’re not wording it right!” or “this could be a huge mistake!”

Third step is to surrender to the process that occurs once you decide to quit. Be ok with the mess. In being ok, the mess isn’t so messy and you can let the drama be over there rather than participating in it. Not to be emotionally detached, but to just know that you can feel apologetic, compassion, empathy, etc. while also feeling confident that you changing your energetic direction is best for all parties.

Even if you’re just quitting a bad habit and it doesn’t seem to involve other people–it still is best for all parties! Have you ever been around someone who knowingly continues something that’s not great for them? Not usually the most fun energy to be around 🙃