How to Relax

One of the most mind-blowing exercises that was ever presented to me was in this fantastic yoga program run by my old-and-beloved yoga studio, BIG Power Yoga, and that exercise posed this question:

Are you creating rest out of a reaction?

Shout out to my teachers Nancy, Nathan, and others involved in this writing/delivering piece of content because I use it to this very day and it profoundly changed my life.

Let me break it down for you:

1. At any given moment in our known universe and experience, two energies are always dancing with each other. Light/dark, up/down, hard/soft, Yin/Yang, etc. You must have one to have the other. We cannot be productive 100% of the time–we must rest to balance out that energy of production. To produce more, we must rest. And this rest must be truly, authentically restful.
2. The term “reaction” above refers to the following particular meaning of the word. There is a difference between reacting and responding. To put it in simple terms: when something happens to you, you can either choose how to respond or be a reaction. A reactive state is the one that the real, calm, loving, chill you would not choose. We are human though, so inevitably, we will slip into a reactive state pretty often and all we have to do is practice returning back to choosing/responding/creating, free from reaction, as quickly as possible.

When I am a reaction, the decisions I make will be subpar to decisions I could make if I was in a responsive state. The trick here is to understand that when I’m saying “respond” right now, I’m actually saying “create”. You create how you want to respond to stimuli. Yes, it does take practice, effort, discipline, and a whole lotta self-forgiveness for the million times you fuck up. 🙂

Back to rest. I’ve already laid out the most obvious point in the world. Rest good. Rest help. Rest balance work. (Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick? iykyk)

We need rest to be able to feel alive, creative, productive, energetic. The way I attempt to rest will result in either successful, actual rest or fake-ass rest that doesn’t truly have me feel rested.

That’s where resting-as-a-reaction comes in. If you are in a reactive state–pissed about work, down on yourself, stressed about bills, mad at the world, whatever–when you go to take a break, take time off, or just freakin’ RELAX, you may find it not as fruitful as it was supposed to be. That’s a big reason why I sometimes wake up tired after a nap or sleeping in. Or I take a vacation and just drink a bunch. Yeah, some sleep was better than none, yet I would probably feel way more zen and rested upon waking if the decision to take a nap came out of responding to life than reacting against it.

The particulars of how to get into a state of responsiveness before choosing how you rest is another long post. I’m just going to leave you to chew on this idea… If you take a deep breath, take 5 minutes to just disconnect from all your obligations, take a sec to relax the muscles in your body, and imagine, just pretend, that you are suspended in time for a bit: while you’re in this pause of chill, look out into the future and ask, what are some activities, no restraints or obstacles, that you could be doing that have you smile and just feel joy? Not even future joy, like just imagining that stuff has you feel all warm and joyful now?

My quick list: playing in the park with my daughter, walking on a nature trail, ensuring that I go to bed extra early after having washed my bedding and then I wake up without the rush of an alarm in the morning and spend 15 minutes just lounging in bed reading a book, giggling ketchup fights with my life in slo-mo, etc…

You may find that things you list aren’t even “sleep, lay down, massage”; many might be “hike, swim, try a new restaurant, organize my nightstand”! Ok, ending this post so I can wash my sheets byyyye! Happy resting!