Love Yourself for All

The less I choose that I am worthy and good, the more obsessed with myself I become. When folks don’t practice authentic and real self-acceptance and self-love, they end up selfish, absolutely obsessing over themselves 24/7. And that gets fucking tiring.

Feverishly trying to fix myself so that I am good, so that I am seen as great, worthwhile, and powerful, is a surefire way to make everything about me. In that situation, I might rationalize with: “I criticize myself because I’m just trying to be a better person.” But, the reality is that I am criticizing myself because I’m disconnected to the Highest Self, which is perfect innately, and therefore obsessed with little self.

I say all this with such compassion, because what we don’t know, we don’t know. I don’t think people evilly choose to be that selfish. They often keep choosing it because they don’t yet have the skill to deal with it.

For the longest time, I didn’t understand that I was being selfish. I truly “knew” that’s just how my brain worked and therefore, that’s just reality. Like beyond even a belief–a reality. My yoga practice has helped me to arrive at a point where I’m less fragile and now strong enough to be able to take the realness about my selfishness. It’s a vicious cycle for someone unconsciously “know” self-worthlessness or self-not-enough-ness and then when someone points it out to be like, “See? I suck.” or “See? That person, place, or thing has power over me and I can’t help it. I’m small. I’m doing my best. I’m trying. I just can’t. That’s just how I am. I’m hardwired that way. It’s hard for me to blah blah blah.”

Breaking out of the cycle looks like authentic and real practices of self-love and confidence. You must decide, without needing rational reasons or evidence that you are the most powerful being in your life and you do not ever need to prove it. If accessing this seems blocked, do something to remove the block: cry, try a different therapist, journal, begin or increase intensity in physical work outs, meditate regularly without a guided app, etc.

When I finally got to the point of seeing that I had been selfishly making everything about me–do I sound good? did I do a good job? do I have approval from you know who? am I attractive? does so-and-so respect me? do I have the power here?–I chose to instead ask what I think about me. Am I proud of who I was with people today? What do I want to leave behind me? What lower desires have a hold on me, why, and what will I do to express my ownership? What am I truly committed to for myself, my loved ones, the planet? Where could I express my commitments more clearly? How can I create my days so that I can be of service?

Choosing that I am good and there’s nothing to prove has me reside in the Highest Self, which means my little self, the animated human body with a name and mind, gets to benefit, too. Highest Self is for All. Highest Self ensures I take care of my little self, it is operating well, and can be a good agent in this life. Then the agent can act out the expression of the Highest Self. Which is always for all.

The practice for myself (that I invite anyone interested to join): get out of self-obsession and get into self-acceptance and self-love. Make choices that keep me returning to it if I lose my connection. Give up that it happens later when I feel better. I can decide that I am all-powerful anytime, smiling or crying.