I Am Responsible for What I’m Not Responsible

Part of ensuring that I am living my dharma and acting in accordance to my duty on this planet, also known as being responsible, is owning when I’ve taken on work that isn’t mine.

I am the only person responsible for my life and my experiences; anything that happens to me is no one else’s fault. There are things that happen and when I’m involved, I get to interpret it for myself and what I will or will not do in response. No one forced me to take on responsibilities–I always choose it if I’m being honest with myself.

This includes when I say yes to spending my energy on something and being responsible for it, then incurring stress and heaviness as a result because that thing wasn’t mine. My body and general attitude tells me that there’s something I don’t want to be responsible for there, and the only reason I said yes in the first place was out of irresponsibility. Maybe it was a temporary desire to make more money or do a fun thing or to seem like I’m capable of great things. Whatever the reason is, it’s clear that I could use a realignment with myself on what I am actually responsible for and then communicate that clearly to anyone involved.

As a reminder to me and anyone else that starts to edge into beating themselves up, in the realm of responsibility and duty, it’s like a light switch: is something on or off? It’s not a shame and blame circus or a moral quandary about the light switch being on or off. It’s just on or off.

So, to switch the light on, I will take time to meditate, write, and get clear about what I am responsible for in this life and then go out and make some choices. The Buddha says:

However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do if you do not act upon them?

If I don’t do this, I’ll continue to live my life irresponsibly trying to be responsible for someone else’s work and then wonder why I feel tired or I’m grumpy or I’m not getting to my life’s goals on time. If I do go get responsible and relinquish duties that aren’t mine, I get to take back my Highest Commitment from darkness and feel powerfully connected to it without distraction or the inability to see it.