Softness is Underrated

I have recoiled from being too soft because I associate being soft with being walked all over, with being taken advantage of, with being used, overlooked, too quiet to make a difference.

That’s not softness. That’s what things look like on the outside in abusive or oppressive situations. In those situations, I had no softness or hardness–or much of anything. Because I hadn’t had discovered and known myself. I was disintegrated from my self.

When integrated and yoked together into unity, softness is the key to exercising the power found in autonomy and responsibility in a way that dissolves abuse and oppression. Even now, I’m thinking “But if I’m too soft with someone who is actively causing harm, they’ll just keep causing harm!”

Again, softness looks different than we assume it does. Softness is a source. It’s a created and cultivated feeling. I can be tender and soft in my heart while I say no to someone demanding something of me that’s off. And then, what I’ve found, is my body language, my tone of voice, and my facial expressions convey an inner softness that smooths out the reaction in the other person.

Softness isn’t present in a reactive state. Force and brutality can easily be present in a reactive state. Those ways of acting will create more of the conflict and violence cycles I seek to destroy.

Today, I’ll practice calming my nervous system, remembering why I love and have compassion for all creatures, and forgive those that have wronged me. If I encounter one of them, I’ll practice being soft while knowing myself.