Be as Human as Possible to Be Divine

Sometimes I’ll shove down how I feel because I either don’t want to deal with it or the feeling freaks me out. I’ve felt “wrong” when I’ve felt angry, sad, disappointed, despair, etc., especially hanging around such positive people. In fact, I feel I have a patent on feeling sad about feeling sad.

“Feelings” are interesting because they’re not just the chemicals that wash through our bodies; more than biology is at play. When you intensely feel angry or worried or upset, you definitely feel it in your body and your mind goes haywire. You are in whole new world, different from the one you were in when you felt gleeful or joyous. Things look differently when you’re depressed; I’d guess they look shittier and more futile. Sights that once enthralled you now infuriate you when you’re pissed. Rationality be damned.

Why must we feel so?

Ancient man was not as tortured as we are by emotions. The sheer amount of complexity of our modern world didn’t exist back then. Language wasn’t as intricate and nuanced as it is now. Their torture was mostly physical. They progressed our race through the ages, fighting the things that ail our bodies, to arrive us to now confront what ails our entire being. We’ve been on the frontier of human spiritual evolution for awhile now. Our journey asks us to now heal what ails us daily, under our own skin, so that we may hear Supreme Reality and become at one with it.

By Supreme Reality, I mean the divine connection to Total Divine Connection: understanding beyond even rational deduction that we are all one, we will return to one, and all is well. The force of love, like light, is the clear existence of divinity is our experience of the universe. There is nothing to prove in order for that to be true. And once I am there, living from that state, then I experience myself and my life as divine and I can, through love, turn to my fellow man.

When I feel sadness or rage, running from those feelings, whether by obvious avoidance through screen time or substances or by sneakier ways like constantly cracking jokes with my friends and being über positive, is the easier thing to do. It’s easier to never process or deal with pain. For who likes an honest reckoning with their with pain and scary, dark feelings and thoughts? And strangely, even though I’m doing a very human thing by avoiding my true feelings and inner demons, it takes me away from being more human. I start to function more in my head, intellectually, assembling a “rational” Janan to be in the world.

When I can allow myself to crack open and spend time with my raw humanity, it’s then I paradoxically am at my most divine. The Total Divine Connection can be in communion with my endearing, just-trying-to-get-by human self, and there’s a relief in being held like that. It’s myself as the Divine, holding me as the Human, and then together, they are still Divine.

It’s a binary that is only binary because when they’re together it reveals a third thing* that is actually Oneness and enfolds All (see: paradox).

If you’ve made it this far through my prose written mostly to myself, the only thing to do about it all is to Know Thyself through allowing emotions to come up and out, knowing they’re never it, and you’re a space in which they occur. Be as human as possible while knowing without a doubt that you ARE a divine creature.

If ever it feels so overwhelming that you feel lost, too weak, too fearful: please seek professional guidance and therapy. It exists for this reason and it’s just as valid of a pathway to your inner divinity as not using therapy.

*thing = [English word that could point toward the reality of some non-entity entity that which the entire universe exists from, on, around, in, etc., to some known as God, Tao, Allah, Yaweh, Brahma, Viracocha, etc.]